Son on drugs and alcohol
by mich
(sussex)
Need help urgently, my son has become more aggressive he’s fighting with all male members in the family, staying out late not saying where he is going or what he is doing, staying up when he comes home banging about.
He’s 21 yrs old won’t look for job stays in bed most of the morning and when confronted will become defensive. His room is a mess even though he keeps himself looking nice.
I have started to suffer with anxiety attacks worried sick as he wont go to get any help I’m at my wits end please can anyone help me?
It is effecting all my family we have even called a family meeting and said for him to get help, which he is in denial that he has a problem.
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Rules, Boundaries and Limitations
He is in charge and left unchecked, his disease will continue to destroy his life and the relationships he has with those who love him. The family needs to get together and get on the same page. As a unit, you need to force the issue. AA and Al-Anon are wonderful organizations that can help. Make a call and seek help for yourself and the members of your family. Get your son the help he needs. If he refuses, you need to decide just how much you are willing to take. He’ll take everything from you if you allow it. |
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Son on drugs and alcohol
Hi-Thanks for writing. He is now in jail for driving while impaired by drugs. I’m saying all of this to let you know that I can certainly sympathize with you. Secondly, I believe my best suggestion is for you to go to an Al Anon meeting – it is for friends and family of alcoholics and we also talk about drugs. They stress taking care of yourself and many other things. If you could get your son to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that would be great. You can find them on the internet. Then he may see and hear the dire consequences of using drugs and alcohol from other members there. If he won’t go then, I believe, the only other thing you can do is to talk to him and to pray for him. I have learned that you cannot CONTROL what an addict does (believe me, I tried with my son). Many people, unfortunately, have to hit bottom before they will see that they need help to quit. After being in jail for a year and getting out last November we really thought my son had hit bottom and he was getting help. He was clean for 7 months. But, he had a relapse and ended up in jail again. It is extremely sad but now I am practicing “tough love” and not helping him. I do talk to him on the phone and go visit him occasionally. Per Al Anon, the person must really receive all the consequences of their destructive behavior and not be rescued because that is actually hurting them. If you can, look up tough love on your computer. In the past people at Al Anon told me the same things I am telling you but I did not listen. I guess, at the time, it was too hard to do. But now I see that they were perfectly right. All I did to “help” him did not help him at all. If anything, it just made it easier for him to use. And every time he got out of jail, rehabs., etc., he would just go back to using – at that time he did not want to quit and I could not make him. Now, I turn every day over to God and that is working. I also get a lot of support from Al Anon meetings, a counselor, my minister and a physician’s assistant. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get some support for yourself! Best of luck to you and I will say a prayer for you. -Lynette |
