Newly married and husband is addicted to alcohol?

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Newly married and husband is addicted to alcohol?

I’m in my first year of marriage and my husband is an alcoholic. We’ve been together for 7 years and he’s always been a big drinker. It’s caused a lot of problems in our relationship over the years.

I hoped that “growing up,” graduating college, getting a great full time job, getting married, all the adult things would finally make him grow up.

He only seems to be getting worse. He’s always at the bar and never skips a weekend out. He frequents the bar during the week as well and he always stays until the bars close. The other day he came home with a keg that now sits on our back porch. That worries me.

Last weekend, I was at home very sick with a cold. Mad because I wouldn’t go to the bar with him, my husband angrily left for the bar around 6 pm and proceeded to ignore my phone calls for the next 7 hours and was incredibly drunk by the time the bars closed. Last night he was away for a business meeting. He text me at 9:30 pm saying he was going to bed. I was skeptical so I asked him to send me a picture of the room. He then told me he was actually at the bar.

I caught him in a lie as I usually do.

Our marriage has become a constant battle of me begging him to stay home and spend time with me, which doesn’t happen and I’m left at home alone until he comes home at all hours of the night. I have the support of my family and friends, but he doesn’t recognize the fact that he has a drinking problem.

I want our marriage to work, but his drinking continues to spiral more and more out of control. Any advice would be more than appreciated.

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Join Al-anon and begin attending meetings

by: Ned Wicker

Like millions of other wives, you have been left out of your husband’s life. As his alcoholism progresses, there is less room for anything other than his drinking. The disease has taken over and he is his life is out of control.

The person who once loved you and cared for you, who enjoyed being with you and doing things together is all but gone now. Just begging him isn’t going to change anything, you need a plan.

Al-Anon is an excellent first call for you to make to get some support and advice. Also, consult with a counselor from a local alcoholism treatment center and explain your situation.

Also, there are a couple of resources for you to read through. One is “Getting Them Sober” by Toby Rice Drews, an excellent book ( The other is “Why

Don’t They Just Quit?” by Joe Herzanek ( You need to understand your enemy, i.e. the disease. Go through the first round and let us know how you make out. All the best.

Needing Al-anon and Interventionist


What your husband is showing is sure signs of needing help. I would highly recommend that you get some help also. There are Al-anon groups all over.

They are support groups for the addicted family members as A.A. is for the addicted. If you have voiced your concerns to him to get help and he has not respoded to what you have said you might want to contact a interventionist to assist you in breaking the grips of denial.

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– Matthew 7:7-8

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