by Becky
(Fresno, CA)

I KNOW by finding the meth several times and pipes and hiring a private investigator, but his family doesn't believe he is on meth. They say he doesn't look like someone on meth. He has been on meth for 5 years that I know.

When will he look like someone on meth so they realize that I'm telling them the truth? Since I found out a year ago, I've had him move out.

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He may never look like he is on meth, it effects each of us differently.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Becky,

First, I want to say how sorry I am that you're in such an awful situation. Finding out that our loved one is abusing a narcotic and trying to get them to admit it and quit is VERY difficult. Often, we're the "bad guy" and seen as the one lying and exaggerating and making things up, when the truth is that we're only trying to help.

Often families are in denial and REFUSE to accept that their son/brother is abusing an extremely dangerous and harmful drug. They blame you and continue to enable his drug abuse.

Meth effects each of us differently. Because abusing meth causes a disease of the brain, the uniqueness of each of our brain's determines what and when physical effects will begin to appear.

Most of the harm from meth is often psychological. Many people using meth become very mentally unstable, violent and even psychotic. Meth is an extremely dangerous and harmful drug and meth addiction left untreated is usually fatal.

Is he addicted? It's hard to tell. Some people can use meth recreationally for years before they become addicted. Other becomes SEVERELY addicted on first use. Five years of use is a long time and usually someone using that long does become addicted.

From the little I know about the situation, by the time the effects of meth begin to show on him (tooth loss, pock marks, etc.) he will likely already be in end-stage addiction and severely damaged by the drug. It's so good that you took a strong action against his abuse now, although it must have been very hard to do.

I HIGHLY recommend that you begin going to Al-anon right away, for support and information about addiction. There may be other things you can do to help him and Al-anon may help you to decide what those things are.

As a counselor, I work will many family members of addicts, and sadly, often the parents and immediate family are the worst enablers of the addiction until it's too late. Once the worst happens, then they're TOTALLY devastated.

You should continue to keep fighting for him as you're doing, and use Al-anon to give you the support you need to continue to shed light on this terrible problem.

Stay strong,


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