by CHRISTY

(Oregon, USA)

HELLO

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR RESOURCES TO HELP MY SON.HE IS ALMOST 40. HAS BEEN THRU THE STATE REHAB PROGRAMS IN& OUT OF JAIL. DOES OK FOR 2 WKS THEN BACK ON THE DRUGS HE GOES.

MY HUSBAND & I HAVE NO FUNDS FOR HELP,WE ARE DISABLED & ON S/S. OUR SON DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE. THIS IS KILLING US. HE NEEDS A MENTOR TO HELP HIM NOW!!!

WE ARE SO DESPERATE.HE IS DOWN TO 160 LBS. HE CRIES TO US BUT CAN’T SEEM TO GET HIMSELF TO QUIT. PLEASE HELP HIM, PLEASE HELP FIND HELP FOR HIM NOW. WE DO NOT WANT TO LOOSE HIM TO THE STREETS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE E-MAIL THEM TO ME. I DO NOT THINK AN OUTSIDE PROGRAM WILL HELP, I DON’T KNOW?!!

HE IS KEEPING BUSY THIS WEEK PAINTING FOR A FRIEND. HE IS SUCH A GREAT LIKABLE GUY WHEN HE IS NOT USING. AFTER HE IS DONE PAINTING THOUGH I KNOW IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME, BACK OUT HE WILL GO. HE DOES NOT LIVE WITH US HE LIVES WITH HIS X-WIFE AND HIS SON. HE IS TEARING THEM APART TOO.

I WILL WELCOME ANY AND ALL INPUT YOU HAVE FOR ME.

RESPECTFULLY CHRISTY, WE LIVE IN OREGON.

Son is 42 yrs old. been in and out of rehabs. always relapses after 3-4 mos. can’t hold job. lives with parents. Has attempted to take his life.

What do we do?

by Sharon

I have an ex spouse who is a lawyer and he has used the maximum allowed by prescription for 2 years. I had difficulty leaving him because i have 5 kids and no resources. He even said he didn’t want to make money because I would leave if he did, as I would have the means to do so. I finally left as he was getting so bad and now I am struggling severely to make it on my own. Even worse, because of his law degree, he spends a lot of time using his degree as a lawyer to threaten me, has drawn things out even longer.

Meanwhile the kids are suffering because he will do things such as threaten me if i don’t take them to his apt. He refuses to get a vehicle that all of the kids can fit in, and it is another method of control. Because of his knowledge and use of the system, and he can be a great litigator, it is difficult to get away from his mental abuse. He also is addicted to online war games and instills those habits into kids when they are there.

by Reham

(UK)

My mum is an alcoholic & I really need help & support for her. I live in the Manchester region in the UK. Can you please help?

Kind regards.

by Andy

(Denver)

My husband recently left Detox and did not go into an inpatient program. He is going to meetings 7 days a week as well as seeing a therapist 3 days a week.

Recently I found out he drove someone from his detox program to a meeting because he didn’t have a ride and since they were early they went out for a burger together. I thought these are things you do with a sponsor and I’m wondering should he be going out to eat with this guy and driving him around?

I asked him about it and said he should speak with his sponsor about these actions and he hasn’t yet.

My husband likes to fix people he is only out of detox a few weeks and is no where near being ready to handle a relationship with someone who may relapse because my husband will go down with the ship.

by Alyssa

(Cincinnati, Ohio)

I am an 18 year old older sister of 4 kids ages 7, 11, 13, and 16 and will be heading off to college in September and would hate to leave them in the horrid situation currently in my household.

My mom works full time making 6 figures to support our Catholic School family and travels for 5 days at a time nearly every other week and is still married to my dad who smokes marijuana several times a day, has no job, does not clean or cook, but only spends my mom’s hard earned money smoking cigarettes and whatever else on our back porch and attic.

He is also a compulsive hoarder and lives among filth which is another problem in itself but may stem from marijuana usage.

He is embarrassing for our whole family especially my very successful mother who cannot afford a divorce and doesn’t want to ruin her hard-working successful reputation, nor her kid’s reputations who are athletic and academic stars. Therefore she does not want to call the police or publicize my dad’s problem for co-workers, neighbors, family friends, teachers, coaches, etc all to witness.

Is there a way my dad could get some sort of rehab or intervention without involving police forces or sending him to jail so that our family is not severely humiliated and put under the judgemental spotlight of a typical Catholic suburban neighborhood and lifestyle?

If so, what are some steps that I can take before I leave for college so that my younger siblings have a better chance at being successful and don’t go downhill with their dad?

by Jo

(London, UK)

Hi, I live in England and have a very good friend living in France. He was a junkie and has told me he has been clean for 10 years. His family all believe he is clean so this may be the case.

The reason I am worried is that I stay with him sometimes for two or three weeks at a time. He works very hard during the week and has two children.

When he gets home from work he is quite uncommunicative and goes straight to his room. He stays there for at least two or three hours, then when he joins everyone again he is very mellow and happy and in a good, sociable mood. This routine cannot be interrupted, even if he has guests round for a meal and they are waiting to see him. I don’t know what he does when he is in his room.

His home has a sort of sharp, sweet smell sometimes and he always asks me to bring Detol over from the UK, He says he like it for cleaning the loo and can’t get it in France. He is always complaining that he has no money but he works very long hours and has no mortgage. He also owns a property in the UK which brings in rent so he can’t be that broke.

I am not sure if he is still taking heroin or a substitute and am not really sure how to tell. I am obviously suspicious about his behaviour but don’t know if I am just being paranoid because I know his history.

I would be glad for some advice.

Thank you

by Jay

What do I do when I know I’ve hit the wall? I need to talk to someone about drug withdrawal.

My niece is doing meth or something and thinks that I do not know she is lying to me about using anything. What should I do?

by Daphne

My boyfriend is addicted to the pills that were prescribed to him to help him get off of his addiction to marijuana. He has bottomed out and is speaking to a psychologist.

But I don’t know what to do. We aren’t currently living in the states. He is seeking help enthusiastically and contrary to his addiction he is a very honest man.

He has hidden this from me for a while but I never asked because I thought he was hiding his cigarette habit and sleepy because he works out so much. I will stay by his side for now as long as he is trying and seeking help.

But what should I look for and how do I help him when things get tough. We love each other deeply and want our relationship to work out. But for now our relationship is going to take a back seat to his recovery.

Please help.