Torn between helping & enabling!
by Tami
(Baltimore)
I have posted before on this site in May 2011. That’s the day I found out my 21 yr old son was using HEROIN.
Since then, he has had his 1 yr old daughter taken from him (my daughter has her in a 60 “SAFE STAY”) his g/f finally admitted to her parents that she is using as well & her parents “PUT” her in detox & rehab.
My son has turned himself in to the police for a previous warrent (did 10 days). He says he was “clean” for 10 days while in jail.
He wasn’t even out for 5 hrs & started using again. I told him I loved him & to call me when he was clean/sober.
This is tearing my heart out as well as the rest of the family. He has had 2 open heart surgeries 4 yrs ago, he is slowly killing himself.
Now, the hard part… he is very depressed, his g/f still in rehab, no job & loosing his apartment next week. He is telling me he is gonna be homeless & sleep on a park bench. I am TRYING NOT TO GIVE IN & pay his rent for him or send him $$ for food.
I know in my head that I would be enabling him….but, my heart is being pulled in the other direction… the MOMMY direction …to take care of my son.
Is there anyone out there that has gone thru this very trying & hard time with their loved one? When is enough enough? When do you cut all ties with your youngest son (loved one) & move on?
He is telling me he has “nothing to live for, no g/f, no daughter no nothing” Do I call someone to go get him because he is threatening to OD? (he lives in another state)
Please, anyone that reads this, if you have ANY SUGGESTIONS AT ALL… please respond.
This is just as hard on his family!
Thanks for reading.
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Got His Attention?
Your son has gone down a very difficult path and I can understand his lament. However, even after all that has happened, does he refuse treatment? Does he push back and deny his disease? If he were willing to go into treatment and work at straightening his life out, that would be a good investment for you. Short of a dilligent effort on his part, he is leaving you no alternatives. If you give him money, he’ll buy heroin. If he has no job, no home, no prospects, I’d say you have a window of opportunity here to get his attention. Al-Anon has so many members who have exoperienced this heartbreak. Give them a call and share your story. God’s blessing does not always come when the sun is shinning. |
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thank you
Unfortunately, my son is not quite “ready” to check himself in detox or rehab. He says he doesn’t have a “problem” or an “addiction”…even though that is what I am expecting him to say. I feel like all we can do is stand by, support him emotionally (when he wants help) & just keep reminding him that he has sooooo much to live for & his family & daughter love him very much. Looking forward to hearing from other parents… Thanks, |
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