Wannabe Doctor

by Jan
(Philippines)

I started using meth when I was in college. Since my school allowance is not enough to sustain my cravings, I started stealing. First, it was money kept by my mom in her cabinet. After a while, I ransacked her jewelry. I also abused alcohol, got into a lot of bar fights and used to hit my girlfriend when I was drunk.

Then I suddenly got tired of it and decided to change. I went to med school. I was in control of my life. I drink to socialize and drugs was out of my system. I thought i have it all.

Then came the review, because of the pressure, i drink two bottles of beer every night after reading for the whole day. When the result of the national licensure examination came out, i miserably failed.
...Depression.
I decided to take the exam again, and when i was reviewing, the bitterness of my piling failures in life was obvious. I back stabbed my friends, made up stories of how glorified i am and i acted as if everybody was inferior vis a vis my intellect. Then, meth came knocking. My friends and professors found out and everyone hated and condemned me. I was not able to take the exam again.

Comments for Wannabe Doctor

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Depression and meth addiction is a difficult combination.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jan,

Depression is a terrible illness and people OFTEN self medicate with alcohol and other drugs like meth. The disappointment of not becoming a doctor must be very difficult for you. You also sound like you're too hard on yourself.

Please consider attending AA and working the 12 steps of recovery. The 12 steps helps us all to understand our weaknesses but to also understand out strengths.

There are also excellent treatments for depression that may help you to stop self medicating it. I have successfully counseled people with depression and it is very possible to begin feeling much better relatively quickly.

You have a lot to give to the world regardless of whether or not you're able to become a doctor. Working the steps will hopefully help you to gain a more realistic view of yourself and allow you to get your life back on track.

Good Luck,

Debbie

Thanks
by: Jan

Thank you debbie.

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