I have a 5 year old son with a crack addict. I broke up with him once while I was pregnant but recent events put us back together in the last year.
My child is finally adjusting to having his father living with us, and his father is finally adjusting to being a family man. Well almost……
the 1st 8 month being back together were the best 8 months of my entire life. It was better than the 1st time we dated and accidentally created a perfect child. We didn’t argue, we went to church, we spent quality family time together, and were able to find mommy and daddy time too :).
Right around our birthdays (me and his birthday are 2 days apart, and our son’s is 1 week after his dads- which makes us lucky Leos-All born in the year of the cock) he had his 1st relapse after a 15 month sobriety.
He disappeared for 6 days on a street-walkers fantasy.
When he finally came home, we talked about the importance of him not wandering the streets high for days. My big concern being that something could happen to him. When i broached the subject about his using he was very apologetic. We talked about steps to get his relapse under way, and possible treatment programs.
He called a few treatment programs and got the run around. they wanted him to do a rule 25 in a week and could possibly get him a bed by the end of the month.
Needless to say he was not strong enough to follow through and now (almost 2 months later) weekly he is disappearing for 1 day here 3 days here (whenever he is off from work) and going to get high.
I have tried to minimize his times by controlling all assets. his checks come automatically to me and I ration them by paying the bills, buying the groceries, and picking up the necessities.
I just knew if he had no $ he could not go get high. I have learned that he needs no money to get high and usually comes home with cash in his pockets.
My fairy tale has turned in to a nightmare. Recently I had come home and found him smoking crack in the bathroom. Naturally I freaked out and he left. I picked him up downtown the next day with the promise of no change.
I do not know how to get rid of him. and if I did I do not know if I can live with out him either. I feel raw and defeated. With out him I do not think I could financially afford to survive and all of our assets are in my name so its not like i could disappear into the night.
How can I get him help while making him think he is doing it for himself? Is that even possible? and if it is possible what direction do I take?