Addiction without being addicted
It’s horrible to see such grounded and wholesome people with the purest of souls being captured with such a horrible curse!
Always being too adventurous, their mind is so open with naivety they are welcoming in the devil without even realising it. I am of a young age at 22 and I can truly say I see people for who they are, no matter what you have done, no matter your actions, these don’t define you. But a warm heart and a caring soul is something I can feel in a person!!
I have lost so many years in many different ways! I have lost years to addiction without even being an addict, I lost years of my childhood; seeing things no one should ever see, constantly learning, forever adapting and being pushed to prematurely grow up.
I lost years with my father, not only in death at the age of 44 but emotional years when the rush and the pressures of constantly needing another hit, constantly needing another drink, take over all of your other controls; In that moment of time nothing else matters and the person you love is gone!
I have lost years with my mother, locking herself in a room, a forever changing and angry personality, growing up and learning that people do have dinner, other kids actually have a bed time, going to your friends houses and their mothers actually being there, wakening them up for school, going to parents nights, enforcing rules and regulations. It’s a shock at the age of 11 realising they don’t have weird families, you do.
I have lost years with my step dad, enough of them being through worry, even when times are good you are just waiting for the next relapse, the next suicidal phone call “you will all be better off without me”.
There are 1 million and one demons out there, not only in your head but living breathing walking demons, put on the earth to tempt you! You yourself are a demon to others, everyone is avoiding something which may even be an everyday thing for you.
Living with addiction without being an addict especially as a child is one of the hardest mental challenges anyone could go through, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!
They say when you die your spirit comes back in a different form, to learn more about the world and people, I think when you look really, really closely you can see a young or an old spirit in a person, I don’t know if my past makes me a better or a worse person, but it definitely makes me a more understanding, emotional and loving person.