Imma try to keep this short but in May 2016 I started dating this co-worker at my dealership and everything was OK until Sept 2017 when I found out she was addicted to opiates.
I was stupid, i had red flags for a long time but i really liked her and believed every single lies. She even lied when she admitted she was an addict, she said she was addicted to percocet where 2 months later she finally fess up and admitted that she has been addicted to heroin for over 2 years.
I didn't leave her cause i love her and i wanted to support her to get clean for us but then she kinda left me after she decided to start on Suboxone because quitting turned her into the nastiest and meanest person i ever met in my life.
I feel like a bad person for wanting to walk away but like I've been reading online since i found out about her addiction that i need to start taking care of myself, my health went down, I'm always stressed, all i can think about is her. I'm always wondering why she can't choose me over drugs and I'm afraid i will lose my job since I wasted so much time on the phone or with her arguing and getting treated like hell.
I do love her, I even told her I wanted to propose to her this Christmas when i saw she didn't really want to get clean as an incentive to go get help from a doctor.
Anyway, she started Suboxone 6 days ago, her last dose was the day before she started taking Suboxone and since she started detox turned into this nasty person. I've only seen when i was trying to stop her from buying her stuff previous the detox. She said she was gonna get clean for me and us but now she's gone, she won't pick up her phone or reply to text messages, she just abandoned me.
I'm truly hurt cause i did everything i could to help her and now she's gone. I feel betrayed because she started dating me and made me fall in love while hiding this big secret. I miss her and i would love her back but i guess I'm going to be alone now. I wish i knew this before i had feelings for her, i wish i knew that this was gonna be the outcome.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8