Can't go through this pain again?!?

by Mary Kay

I live in a town to the west of Austin, Texas called Spicewood. I also live part time in Sedona, Arizona. I'm in Sedona now so is there any place in Sedona where I can go and talk about my daughter. I don't know if it's drinking or drugs.

We have gone through years of this and been in and out of a few rehabs, but all they do is introduce themselves (my daughter) to other druggies and alcoholics so they can buy from them when they get out of rehab. My daughter is now 49 years old.

I'm 69 in a few days. I thought things were fine, but they aren't I found out when I got to Sedona. She lives in Flagstaff. She used to attend AA there, but she's falling off the wagon bad. I feel too old to go through all this again.

Her kids left her years ago to stay with their other grandmother in Colorado. One is 20 and the other 17. The 20 year old has moved back in with his parents. He's working as an EMT and is going to school to become a paramedic.

I need help. Please tell me where to go in Sedona so that I might get some advice. The 17 year old in still in Colorado finishing up high school. I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN. It has aged me beyond my years.

P.S. Just found out today that it's crack cocaine again. I don't have the strength to do this again and I'm the parent of a 49 year old child. All she cares about is herself!

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Addiction is SO difficult, certainly no quick fix or esay answers :((
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Mary Kay,

From the little I know from your message, what you've been through with your daughter is almost unimaginable. I'm sure it has aged you and the thought of going through it again is simply not possible.

Addiction, as you may know, is a chronic disease of the brain. When your daughter uses, she becomes a different person, unrecognizable to you, her children or to herself. She only cares about getting her drug-of-choice and her brain likely makes her incapable of caring about anything else. This makes her hate herself, so she uses to numb the emotional pain she is feeling. Then, the pattern repeats itself over and over again.

Watching her go through this, as her mother, must be excruciating. Please consider joining Al-anon and trying to get the help you need protect yourself from this disease and the cycle of addiction your daughter is going through. Here is a link to the Al-anon meetings in your area:

Please consider going to meetings twice or three times a week and working the 12-steps. Working the steps helps us to understand what we're dealing with and to learn how to love the addict but HATE their addiction.

Good Luck,


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