Husband addicted to pain pills

by Tonya
(Morganfield, KY, USA)

My husband of 18 years is addicted to pain pills. We have had multiple issues with addiction of crank, crack, pot and now pain pills in the past..and our whole marriage.

We separated last year when his problem came to a whole new light. I had surgery and my husband stole my pain pills 2 days post-op and replaced them with over the counter Tylenol.

I'm not well educated about drugs and symptoms of drug use so I was able to dismiss symptoms of his drug use as normal and think they were isolated issues. We were separated for 8 months when I took him back under the agreement that he was not using drugs, had already gotten help and he would never use them again or I would be gone forever.

So now, I caught him with pain pills again (second time since he moved back in), and he has been taking 15-20 a day (I counted them before I flushed them) he claims that he doesn't take them to get high but only to keep from getting sick. I told him to leave, he then says that's why he didn't tell me he was having problems because I would kick him out.

Am I being to harsh?

He swore to me, on his dead mother's grave, that he was not taking pills, always a crazy turn of fate that put him in the situation I caught him in. I am so tired of the lies, betrayal and most of all the disrespect that he has shown to me.

I have always been drug free and state openly that I have no use for anyone who uses drugs, nor do I want them in my home. Most of all we have two teenage boys that are so sick of all of the back and forth they have seen in their lives.

I have told him that I feel like I don't even know him, all I know is a fake person that he pretends to be. What do I do? I am so angry at him, he ruined my life and the lives of my children.

He feels such a sense of entitlement. I am so sick of living this way. He says it is not that big of a deal and I am over reacting, and if I truly loved him I would support him.

He says he is on a waiting list for treatment. How can I believe him? All he does is lie, one lie after another.

Comments for Husband addicted to pain pills

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Check this place out !!
by: JRM

There is a free treatment facility that is faith based in Cincinnati Ohio. You situation sounds so much like my wife and me. She finally kicked me out after years of lies.

I finally found out about this place called city gospel mission. I spent a year there and got my life back as well as my wife and kids. I'm not cured by no means but our life is so much better now and it's been about 3 years since been out.

It's worth a shot cus he needs to get off the "street" for a while and change his whole mindset with GOD doing all the shaping and your husbands choice of following through with it. My life is so much better now, i'm actually sitting at my desk at a job that i go to everyday because i don't use dope anymore.

God will help but you gotta be willing to try. Good luck and GOD Bless your family !!! Here's the # 513-241-5525 - City Gospel Mission. DO IT!

Take Action
by: Ned Wicker

Dear Tonya,

You are not being harsh. Unfortunately, the lying, manipulation and all of the games are part of the disease. You don’t take 15-20 pain pills a day to keep from “getting sick.” If you believe that he is on a waiting list for treatment, I have land in Florida to sell to you at a greatly reduced price, and I’ll throw in the Brooklyn Bridge.

It’s hard living with all of that and you needed to make that break to show him that there are consequences for his behavior.

You are in a difficult position, just like countless thousands of other wives, who really want to do the right thing and stay with their husband, but he won’t allow a reasonable existence because of the drugs. He wants his problem to be your problem, so you also need help and support to learn how to deal with that and not go crazy.

Al-Anon provides the kind of support that will be perfect for you. You have to take care of yourself and not get sucked into the “entitlement” and the manipulation.

You can also make some calls and do your homework on local drug treatment centers. There are many options available and centers will create treatment programs according to the need of the client.

If you know what’s going on from A to Z, there’s no way he can do an end run on you. Your eyes are wide open and he won’t be able to fool you any more. “Don’t try to lie to me because I’m on to you.”

You set the rules and parameters and if he doesn’t follow then to your satisfaction, there will be consequences.

The children also need support and Al-Anon can help there as well. It’s hard to understand what is going on with their father, and often kids want to help, but don’t know what to do. Worse yet, they feel responsible. This can create some emotional scars that they carry for years.

You can take action and be a positive influence. You don’t have to be a victim.

I am in same scenario as you..what worked?
by: Anonymous

I have same problem and was wondering what worked? I left for while,i reached out to doctors, therapists, friends, etc. and still in same spot..

He got dropped from his Dr(he had his own pain meds and other stuff while stealing mine) and still takes my norcos, relaxers, and any anxiety meds to this day..I even stopped some of my meds and I am planning on telling my Dr that I don't want them anymore just so my husband stops; but then again he won't stop looking on street(friends).

He told me same thing yours told you: if I really care and love him then I would support him and not let him suffer.

He lies
by: Anonymous

My husband has been addicted for 40 years and of course he says he is not and that the 2 home equity loans, withdrawal of his $100,00 IRA funds, numerous charges, loans, and second mortgages are all my fault. I know his habits and lies. That irritates him the most. He has conned his kids, but I have lived with the lies for years. I know he lies and that bothers him to no end. Get out now if you can.

My addict husband
by: Kristie

My husband, of 17 years, is addicted to pain pills and went to recovery classes. They put him on Suboxone and that when the change really started he had been snorting pain pills for 6 years and I didn't know it.

He went to the meetings but it was like he got worse. In the meetings, he met his ex-girlfriend from 24 years ago who was there. She got arrested for breaking and entering a stealing pain pills. He started to change even more but I didn't know if it was the drugs or pot. He still was smoking pot and the doctor put him on Atavan so he was up and down. He lost his job at the University he worked at because they found drugs in his work truck.

In August, he left and moved in with his mom (his enabler) stayed there until October then came back home but didn't know if he loved me anymore. Then he did and he stayed until after Christmas and left Dec 27, 2015. Then he got a place with his ex-girlfriend who is also a drug addict. She has no job, no car, nothing. Now he has no job... nothing.

We have a 14 year old daughter that he has lied and lied to so many times she has nothing to do with him or his family. He has not helped me take care of our daughter in anyway.

I went over to his house one night to talk to him about our daughter because she has hard times and he pushed me off the porch and his girlfriend jumped on me and the had me arrested for trespassing and she said I jumped on her.

He got another job and quit it in less than a month. His wrecked his truck. He looks like death so skinny hasn't cut his hair and no emotions. He doesn't realize I work in healthcare and could loose my job because the charges of domestic violence and I am the only one that takes care of our daughter.

I don't know him anymore. And he was the love of my life. It has been almost 4 months and his never called me or anything. He's walled away from everything and hasn't looked back. His still with this girl that does the drugs with him...

I can't believe he is the man I've married. That he could just walk away and start a new life and never has any regrets or cares for what his done to me and our daughter and my family... How can someone do that? The drugs are killing him and she helps him and he hates me.... THAT'S WHY I HATE DRUGS they take everything from families....

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Husband addicted to pain pills

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