Husband addicted to prescription meds?
by Lost
Hi,
My husband and I recently separated when I found out that he was buying and taking prescription medications.
About five years ago he shattered his ankle and became addicted to the pain medication. He went to rehab and was released healthy and to my knowledge drug free.
We married almost two years ago, and I was aware of his problem. We have a beautiful 9 month old now. I believe that he was dabbling in pills while I was pregnant though he says he didn’t start until after the baby was born.
He lost two jobs, working in the medical field during this time. sold some of my things to buy pills, and spiraled out of control. He injured himself when we didn’t have money so he would have an excuse to see a doctor. Basically the pills consumed him.
I threw him out and told him to get help. He created a lot of debt for us so I can’t help him and care for our baby. Currently he’s staying with his mom, actually working… He was jobless for three months…and claims to be drug free.
So, I guess my question is, is there anyone on here going though what I am or something similar?
The end goal here is that my husband gets it together and we get our family and our relationship back on track. It’s just difficult suddenly bring thrown into single mom status even with a great support system. And I, miss him terribly.
He’s done some really awful things and hugely damaged our relationship but I’m just not ready to give up. Anyone out there like me?
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There is Support
You are certainly not alone. Your story has very familiar themes and there are so many who share your pain, your burden and your desire to hold on to your marriage. Al-anon was created just for you, as its members are all people who live with an addict and are reaching out for help. I encourage them to give you a call, because there is no better advice that that which comes from someone who has walked a mile in your shoes. As difficult as it was, you did the right thing by having him move out. You have a moral obligation to your baby, and you have to protect your own best interest. That’s the terrible underside of addiction—it robs people of their sense of responsibility, accountability and destroys their moral compass. It is as disease of the soul as much as it is a disease of the brain, because the man you fell in love with is disappearing. You are in a fight to get him back. You need a game plan. Maybe his mother can help, unless she simply enables him and refuses to deal with reality. You might want to talk to her and get her on your side. Likewise other family members might help in the cause. He says he isn’t using, but I would not believe that. He probably has mom fooled. Be careful and be smart. Get the support for you first and don’t be a one-person army. Let others help you and support you. I know you’re probably thinking of giving in and just taking him back, but that really isn’t going to help him. He needs professional care, so everything you do needs to drive him in that direction. You can do it. He can get better and he can return to a happy married life and enjoy his child. But he is going to have to choose to do that. You need to put the ball in his court and keep it there.
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Been There
He is attending an out patient soboxone clinic. Honestly I don’t have much hope, this is the third time and I’m really tired. I feel for you and understand exactly what your going through. I’m sure there are plenty just like us. I’m thinking about a support group. Are you seeking any help for yourself? |
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thanks
I have tried to get his mom on my side and that backfired on me. So now I just wait. Ball in his court as you said. Lee, I am so sorry about your situation. Like you, I’d give anything for my husband to put his family over his addiction. I like what Ned said, that its an illness of the soul, that is so very true. And no matter how much you love someone, they have to mend their own soul I think. |