I left the love of my life of 5 years because her 21 yr old sons drug addiction has consumed my life. I packed up and left

by Ozz

(Bethapge, NY USA)

Partner’s 21 yr old addicted to heroin and crack cocaine. He has a 3 yr old no custody and we have had to raise her. I don’t have children and completely lost myself in this addiction.

Partner enables–has gotten better but not good enough. He has come close to death 2-3 times. I packed up my stuff on Sat 6/4 from NH and got in my car back to NY.

I love my partner but not this situation anymore. what are chances she will move to me and away from that. She calls everyday to say i love you miss you and wish things were different.

Right now I need recovery help. I am so angry–have had bouts of anger and destruction and control over this. Lost here in NY.

Whose Problem Is It?

by: Ned Wicker

The person who is stuggling with addiction is always willing to allow his problem to become your problem.

Your situation is common, as the son or daughter who is addicted, lives at home and has no job, no money and no prospects. You are stuck with the mess.

Your partner needs to see this situation for what it is, but sadly, the enabler (rescuer) keeps trying to help. The son needs to get into treatment and your partner needs to understand that if he isn’t a part of the solution he is part of the problem.

I do not blame you for packing your things and returning home. The drug addiction life is not worth it, no matter how much your partner loves you. The son needs to get help.

Thank You Ned

by: Ozz

Hi Ned,

Thank you for your comments. I hope to get more feedback to know that although I let the addict’s behavior get the best of me (anger, controlling behaviors to get partner and everyone else to change, which never works, and just such rage) that it is a normal response.

It may not have been the best, mature, response. However, when you are consumed in an addict’s life you just change. I can only work on myself, my anger, and to detach with love away from the situation.

I took my anger out on the enabler of the drug addict, and that…she did not deserve. As a mother she is doing what a mother does– protect, rescue, etc.

How do you move on? What do I do to get my life back to a peaceful place without holding onto the hurt of the drug addict, and my partner (the enabler)….

Similar Posts