Living and breathing are a pain in this present darkness
(Dallas, TX )
I will try to be brief, apologies a forehand: Growing up I was, or it seemed, to be out to prove everyone that I am capable of doing this or that, making the grades, football team, getting into college, and ultimately n being a worthwhile citizen. They were all fights against nay-sayers, and I enjoyed proving that I was able, however, not without great sacrifice.
Struggling with ADHD THROUGHOUT unmediated, in college I saw that I have an issue and needed help, DOC RX'S ADDERAL and the courses leveled, and then for multiple external events coinciding with my internal being I became severely depressed.
So, now being treated with 2 pharmaceuticals, I thought it would be done on the self help train until social anxiety popped up and not longer insomnia; to date still in treatment for these, and I am growing faithless in the combination of treatments, mind you this is the cocktail of 10+years in the making by a very extraordinary doc, I am truly committed to achieving a balance.
Yet, remember when this was not even an afterthought-I recall the last time I was of any benefit to anyone, and it was a simple time when I held down a job and I felt like I was really myself, yet this time I speak of I was consuming marijuana on a regular basis.
I wonder if the person that is writing this, as hollow and worthless as it is in my mind body and spirit, wouldn't be better off with the marijuana vs. all the C2,3,4 Rx's- stuck in my own prison