MIL uses use pot everyday - wants to watch the kids?

My Mother-in-law has depression issues, we believe she is bi-polar and uses marijuana everyday. She takes multiple prescription drugs.

She wants to watch the kids, but I have a really hard time leaving the kids alone with her. My children are 8, 5 and 4. She gets really upset about not seeing the kids more, but when she is watching them she has absolutely no control, she will let them do anything they want, buys them anything they point at, won't put them to bed because she doesn't want to upset them etc.

Now she is asking to have them for a sleep-over, and I do not know what to tell her. My husband does not want to address the issue, neither do any of her other sons. How would you deal with the situation?

Comments for MIL uses use pot everyday - wants to watch the kids?

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Rules are Rules
by: Anonymous

I'm sure her intentions are good and she just gets happiness from spoiling her grandchildren but bottom line is you are the parent. She should respect your rules and follow them if she wants to see the kids more.

I would tell her a sleep over right now is out of the question. And the times you do allow her around the kids she needs to prove that she can make the kids follow rules so maybe down the road she can have them overnight.

Grandparents don't seem to realize that it may be fun to spoil kids but they are not the ones who will be around when the kids are grown up and out of control! I hope things improve for you.

I myself know how hard and frustrating it is to have rules in place and have someone else ignore them as if I have no say so in how my own child is raised. I have had to stop my son from having unsupervised visits with his dad and his grandparents.

Tricky Family Situation
by: Ned Wicker

Unfortunately you are probably going to be alone on this issue, because your husband and his family don’t sound like they share your concern.

I had a similar situation and believe me, being the only one with the concern can be pretty lonely. You can try to talk to your husband and outline your concerns, but he may not listen.

But if he does listen, maybe he will help you gather the rest of the family for a discussion on how to move forward.

Give Al-Anon a call. Their members are people you can lean on for emotional support, advice and understanding. Understand that you need to learn how to navigate some difficult family waters, as your husband and his brothers are probably in denial about their mother’s drug use.

You see her behavior and they don’t, so they think you’re wrong. Perhaps if they saw if for themselves they’d think differently, but maybe not. In my family, no amount of evidence would make a difference. Whenever I tried to objectively share my observations, I was shot down and ridiculed.

Your mother in-law is going to do what she wants to do. You will have to draw the line and protect your children. What you are describing is dreadful and I would not want my children around that either. So, you do what you can. Call Al-Anon.

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