by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Portia,

The first time I read your submission I thought that you didn’t give me much to go on.

“My husband is a drug addict.”

No details about when or which drug or for how long. How could I answer you with such a little amount of information?

Then, the more I thought about it, I realized that you’d really told me a lot and it was everything I needed to be able to respond to you.

I felt you were saying:

“My husband is a drug addict.

My husband is a drug addict.

My husband is a drug addict.”

It’s as if you where saying it over and over again. Trying to understand it and process it. It’s something you never imagined you’d ever experience and yet here you are right in the middle of it. It isn’t something you wanted or anything that you understand and yet here you are… your husband is a drug addict.

Many people live with an addict and never admit to themselves that their loved on has an addiction. They stick their head in the sand and refuse to acknowledge what’s right in front of their nose.

Drugs attack the brain and have likely turned your husband into someone you don’t know, don’t like and don’t recognize. He’s likely done things that may seem unforgivable and you’re struggling to decide what to do. Drug addiction is a fatal disease if left untreated. Your husband may not know or believe it, but he is in the fight for his life.

The best way for you to help him and to help yourself is to start working the 12 step program. If you both begin working the steps you will learn how to navigate through his addiction or at least learn how to love him but hate his addiction.

Find an Al-anon meeting today in your area or online and begin attending meetings. Begin working the 12 steps and then get him to begin working the steps. If you can both work the steps together you can move past the devastation of addiction and regain a life worth living.

Good Luck,

Debbie