by: Ned Wicker

Dear Julie,
You are observing many of the early warning signs of addiction in your son, especially the dramatic change in his attitude and personal habits. You need to form a plan to get to the bottom of whatever is going on in his life.

Just challenging him will only lead to an argument and will likely trigger some bad adolescent behavior. The redness in his nose is a good excuse to take him to your doctor for an examination.

You may want to ring him/her first and have a conversation about what has been happening. Likewise, organizations like Al-Anon are a good source of support and advice for you. A local drug treatment center is also an option, as they would help you to understand what you are seeing in your son and help you figure out a good way to proceed.

You need to formulate a plan, get the family together on the same page with you, and execute that plan to help your son. It’s good that you are observant and concerned. Stay on it and don’t let your son run the house. Be in charge.

by: Anonymous

Dear Julie,

Sorry to hear about your son. Your challenge is especially difficult because of his age. I doubt that you will be able to reason with him. There is a great book you could benefit from titled, “Parenting Teenagers with Love and Logic.” This book shows you why consequences are the best teachers for teens.

Hang in there, this will take some time.

~Joe

by: Lynette

3/12

Dear Julie,

Hi-I am so sorry that your son has begun down the road of addiction. I would greatly advise you to go to a drug and alcohol counselor and ask them what to do.

Also, if they have Al Anon meetings in your country you should go to them. They are for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts.

My son starting using when he was 14 and he is STILL struggling with substance abuse he’s now 27).

We first realized it was really bad when my husband went to get some of his pain killer for an injured back (he didn’t use it that often) and found that about half of the bottle was gone. We got him into a drug rehab.. However, he apparently did not want to quit and the cycle has gone on for 14 years!

He is now in jail on a driving while under the influence of drugs charge. This is not his first time in jail. I’m telling you all of this to help you realize that both YOU and your son need help.

In the beginning all I did was try to help my son in any way I could. He stole and lied to me and was very manipulating. Even then, I just told myself it was the addiction, not him. However, I really went downhill myself, neglecting taking care of myself.

It is not until now that I realize that a lot of the times that I was trying to help him I was actually hurting him-because I was actually helping him to continue his drug and alcohol use.
Al Anon meetings have helped me so much-there you meet other people with the same or similar situations as yourself. I also see a counselor, talk to my minister and see a physician’s assistant. I advise getting some support for yourself!

You can help you son if he wants help but otherwise, it is sad to say, I don’t believe you really can help him. People tried to tell me that but I did not believe them until now. If he wants help you could start with a medical doctor or a drug and alcohol counselor.

My son has used cocaine but I never heard of anyone having a sore nose or red nose from it but I would not doubt it. Maybe you can find some info. on the internet about it.

Write any time-I will pray for you and your son-Lynette