The love of my life on heroin
I dated my ex boyfriend for a year. We were about 2 months into our relationship when I found out about his addiction to heroin.
I was doing laundry that morning and he had gone out to get cigarettes like he does every morning. As I was moving the wet clothes into the dryer I found a spoon, which I paid no attention to thinking that someone just forgot about it. As I moved more laundry I found a plastic bag… Inside the bag was a needle and brown cloth. I started to freak out.
I didn’t know what it was, I never grew up around anyone with drugs. I don’t know why but I googled “What does heroin look like” and even more shockingly it was heroin.
I locked the doors in our house and bolt-locked them too and called my best friend. I told her she needed to get to our house ASAP. I told her everything that happened and my boyfriend starts to unlock the door. He starts yelling for me because of the bolt-lock.
I confronted him and asked him what was going on and he said he was holding it for a friend who was nervous about the police busting her.. YEAH RIGHT oldest story in the book. He convinced me and even told me to call the lady and ask her if it was true. She said it was hers and I was still mortified he brought it in the house. That’s when he told me he was a former heroin addict and pain pills addict and that he had been going to a methadone clinic for a couple months.
I shrugged it off and thought good for him. We moved back into my parents house because we couldn’t afford payments on our house as I was attending college full-time. Everything seemed to be going great. He said he wanted to taper off the methadone because he hated going to the clinic every morning and being surrounded by drug addicts. He started to taper off…
Let’s fast forward a couple months. Things were going great! We started a plumbing business together and it was flourishing! He was working another job for more money, but he decided to quit and work for another man, and then he quit from that job too and went to work for another plumbing company.
He said it was because they treated him very unfairly. my ex boyfriend got VERY sick and he was in bed for a whole week, sweating, vomiting, constipation… He was a mess and I thought he had the flu. He was fired from his job and things just started to get worse. We were fighting constantly as money was missing from our money jar and his lies.
Then just last month I walked into our bathroom at my parents house and found him injecting heroin into his foot! I was hysterical. He then had the audacity to say he was doing a blood test, WITH ALL OF THE HEROIN LYING IN FRONT OF HIM! I yelled for my mom and we immediately packed his things.
I don’t know where he was going and I didn’t care. I couldn’t believe he had done that to our family. We gave him so much! From paying off his debt, to helping him quit cigarettes, to my parents letting us live rent free as we saved up for a place of our own.
The next couple days I cried my eyes out. I was so scared he was going to overdose. I spoke to my doctor about it and he said he would help Derrick and give him a year’s worth of Suboxone for free! I was so excited because this could actually help him! He would be able to get off of heroin easily.
I drove over to a house he was staying in and confronted him he said he wanted help so badly and I could see it in his eyes. He moved back into my parents house and we started the Suboxone, he had horrible precipated withdrawals because he took it too soon. The next two days were miserable. It was my brothers birthday and we were having family over he was able to socialize and things were going so much better.
A week later work was getting busy for him, but he just kept sleeping in. He didn’t want to get up. He was acting very lazy. I questioned him about heroin but I know it wouldn’t work with him taking the Suboxone.
The next day I get a call from AAA insurance… He crashed my truck earlier that morning. What?!?! I had no text or call from him! I kept calling and he wouldn’t pick up he claimed the call was dropping due to service. I was furious. Another thing he just happened to leave out. He left that night and got a rental car. He came back and said he needed to buy a truck for work. I told him to wait for me that I would help him since I manage the finances. He agreed and told me he was just going to look.
HE BOUGHT A TRUCK WORTH 7K BUT PAID 12K FOR IT. We would barely be able to make those kinds of payments. I couldn’t take it. He had no respect for me. I found a water bottle cap in his rental car filled with heroin. That was the final straw.
He hasn’t been living at the house for a week. I didn’t cry as much as I did the first time he left. I want him to get help and I feel guilty for not helping him because I know his best chance for recovery is being with me. I just don’t want to put myself through that and I wouldn’t be able to deal with another relapse.
He texted me the past couple days and told me he was getting counseling and continuing the Suboxone, he was staying at a truck stop and barely eating as he needed to pay for other things. I doubted him and looked up the history in his phone as to where he was googling “pill identifier” and when I asked what counselor he was seeing I saw that he googled “counselor in **** county” he WAS STILL LYING!
Today is the last day I will spend any time trying to help him. He does not want it and sadly I cannot force him.