by: Anonymous

My wife also came out of detox and within a week told me she doesn’t love me anymore. Together we are in couples counseling and I’m also seeing a therapist on my own. However, in spite of these steps, it’s been very difficult for me to continue to provide the support she needs without deep feelings of resentment and anger.

What she said was the most painful thing anyone has ever told me, especially since I’ve been supporting her for the past six years as she’s been trying to cope with her depression/anxiety/alcohol abuse.

I don’t know if I’ve got the strength, energy or remaining unconditional love to provide to her. I want to live a happy life for me and my son and although I haven’t pursued it yet, divorce also seems like a viable option for me as well.

In closing, John, I share your pain and would also like some feedback from others on this issue.

by: Debbie Wicker

Addiction is a disease of the brain and hits the primitive parts of the brain particularly hard.

What does this mean and how does it relate to your situation with your wife?

What often happens is during the initial stages of recovery the brain latches on to a new relationship often with another user. These relationships are usually terrible and lead to relapse for both involved. The brain is seeking another user in the hopes that your wife will start using the drug again. Addiction recovery involves a person re-training their brain and getting control back.

Talk to the treatment center where your wife is at and make sure she is in women-only groups. If it’s an outpatient group, have your wife start going to a different group that only treats women. Also, any sponsor in a 12-step group MUST be the same sex.

Most good treatment centers understand the problems created when relationship start in treatment and do everything they can to prevent them.

Talk to your wife and try to get her to slow down and see that the relationship is likely drug-induced and not in her best interest. Also, have her change treatment centers if the center won’t help you address this problem.