All in your head!

by Bert
(Maiden, NC )

My story starts with me, a young man raised by his father who was good old boy that smoked pot most his life never getting addicted to coke or heroin even though he tried it. He smoked and drank for twenty five years straight then one day i ask him to choose me or the smoking and drinking he poured the beer he had out and put the smoke out not to touch either again. I admired him. I said "dad howd you do it?" He said "son it's all in your head, remember that."

I went on to get married, then divorced. It killed me, i turned to pain killers and over the next 12 years went on a path of self destruction, loosing all i had. Including cuddling a good women and a little girl that called me daddy.

No matter how hard for those i loved, i could not quit. Until one day my father died thinking, his son was lost. I had lost all hope and my family was gone.

But then and I'll tell you what happened in a drug fueled moment. I broke done and let it out i said i miss my daughter and and i can't go on like this. Then my dads words came to me i heard him say it's all in your head son.

That next morning i woke up and i didn't feel bad at all. I went to work feeling positive about my choice i did not let myself think about withdrawals or any thing like that. I just worked my two days of my swing shift came home ate and slept on my next 3 days off. I slept about 14 hours or more a day. I was lucky a friend of mine slept on the sofa across from mine keeping an eye on me and watching me recover.

I did and have not looked back since if after 12 hrs. I did it i know anyone can but first remember you have to stop running and own the things you've done and the things that happened to you. Whatever happened that made you do drugs to begin with, own that pain then its yours and you don't have to cover it up any more with drugs.

I been clean now for a good bit of time and hope to see my daughter again soon. Plus it helps not counting the days it helps just putting it in your past. Don't look back, it's your choice again. You know what paths not to go down you can do this. The first step is the last step own that pain. I write this in memory of my father who's mind was stronger then any drug mattered!

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