by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Gail,

What a sad tale your family has to tell. But because addiction often runs in families your story is repeated more often then anyone can imagine.

My first and most important recommendation for you is to help yourself to learn about addiction. Start attending Al-anon meetings three times a week and go to different meetings until you find a meetings you are comfortable with.

Al-anon offers six newcomer meetings which can acclimate you to Al-anon and help you decide the best way to help your family to end their addictions.

The most important part of going to meetings is to work the 12 step program for yourself. This will give you huge insight into the issues your sister, brother-in-law and niece are struggling with. Also, find a good sponsor who can help you to walk through this very complex situation in a way that is the most beneficial for everyone involved.

As you begin going to meetings and learning about addiction share with your family everything you doing and learning. Try to get them into a 12 step program. Your niece can be working on the program while she is in jail and it will significantly increase her chances of avoiding relapse if she fully commits to the program and spends the next year and one half STRENGTHENING herself and redefining who she is and what she wants for herself.

Also, encourage your sister to begin attending meetings with you so she can learn about her own addiction as well as how to best help her daughter. She can attend meetings even if she is still using and hopefully over time she will stop using as she works the steps.

If you begin really working the program and understanding it, than there is more than a 50% chance that your sister and niece will also work the program and you all will get help from your past hurts.

Addiction recovery without the 12 step program is possible but highly unlikely. Those are the sad facts. The steps work if you work them!

Good Luck,

Debbie

by: Anonymous

Thank you Debbie, I will try some Al-Anon meetings. I need to get my family together to talk to my sister. She lives in a different town from us, but I will pray I can get her to AA. Thanks again for your suggestions.