by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Rhonda,

Wow you’re really in a very difficult position. It’s hard to know exactly what advice to give you because the situation you’ve described is very complex.

I am a counselor and spend most of my time with women. Many women come to me as they are getting divorced and it is a time of great turmoil and distress. Often, they have trouble making good choices because of the emotional issues caused by the break up of their marriage.

I would recommend you seek support quickly to help you to work though the current situation you’re in. Meth dealers and their friends are almost always a nasty group that you need to stay as far away from as you can.

When you say you are being blamed because your boyfriend’s friends are being busted, I’m concerned for your safety.

I recommend you try to find a counselor that you can work with to help you to clear your mind and make the best decisions for you.

I also recommend you start attending Al-anon meetings today. Find some good meetings in your area, begin working the 12 steps, and find a female sponsor who has been where you are and can help you navigate through a very tangled situation. Go to at least three Al-anon meetings a week so that you can begin to get the support you need right now!

Good Luck, and if you have any other questions please feel free to ask:)

Debbie

by: Anonymous

Thank you Debbie… I saw him in jail today and he wants to walk away from his friends and the drugs. Move away from area and start new together. He plans on fighting for his family and still wants to get married when my divorce is finally over.

I’ve never seen him cry… He doesn’t cry…

Meetings are held only once a week in area. I thank you for your advice and I will go. Court is Monday… Going to be a tough day…

He wants us both to go to meetings, something we should have done a long time ago. Trouble is believing him and believing in him.. As he so believes in us…

by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Rhonda,

Great news that you’re moving away from his bad friends and even better news that you’re both going to go to meetings. You can go to Al-anon and he can go to AA. You can both go to Open AA meetings together.

You need to be VERY careful during this period and not be taken in by wishful thinking. Right now you have very little reason to trust him at all with anything. If you do move and do start both going to meetings as often as possible (for him daily would be best) then you can SLOWLY start to trust him.

If on the other hand, he doesn’t do what he says, you need to work with your Al-anon sponsor and decide the best course of action for YOU. You need to protect yourself from being hurt any further.

Only trust once you can VERIFY that what he says he is going to do he actually does. Also, he MUST go to meetings!

Debbie

by: Rhonda

Debbie, He can say what I want to hear but deep inside the red flag is flying high. He lied about have a no contact order between him and her. The PA could press more charges for him contacting me… Tampering with a witness.

He can plead guilty on the Domestic Charges and have timed served PA will be happy and consider it done and over. However… He still has charges of association and failing the drug test… He won’t get rehab.. He has to go to prison. I lose him either way.

She also going to write and submit to court Monday that I am not at any fault with the case or charges. I did drop the preliminary case but it’s the State that is pushing issue not me.

Hoping he knows I didn’t put him in prison… He did it to himself. If it’s meant to be then we will get thru this… If not then I need to say goodbye and be done with it… Move on without him… This sucks.

by: Anonymous

Dear Rhonda you just need to do your best and work through it. F.Y.I I’m only thirteen.

by: Andre

Hi,

I came across your post, My boyfriend is addicted to meth (https://www.drug-addiction-support.org/my-boyfriend-is-addicted-to-meth.html).

Having a relationship with an addict really needs a great understanding and forgiveness, because of the fault they can eventually make. Many people are now facing this kind of situation, in different type of relationships. As a person
who is closest to them, we can just do what we can, the right thing we think we can do, even if it means that we need to hurt them, to make them realize the value of living in the right direction.

Given your post, I wanted to send your way Collateral Damage (http://www.rehabs.com/explore/addiction-impact-loved-ones/), a study on how
drug addiction affects family and friends. Where we analyzed the top addiction-related forums to find out how friends and family members were
seeking support. It also shows the most frequent post phrases by relationship.

Given your coverage on drug addiction, I hope this study can serve as an additional resource for your article. Please do get back to us should you consider covering our study. We will definitely appreciate any feedback you might have.

Best,
Andre