My boyfriend is addicted to meth?

by Rhonda

My boyfriend of nearly 2 years has a addiction to meth. We met thru our kids. His son and my daughter. I was separated and he just broke up with girlfriend. We were best friends before taking our feelings to the next level.

We now have a grand-baby from our children. I went through a lot with him over a year ago as his best friend. Jail, rehabilitation program and his friends.

Last November he started hanging with some old friends. His behavior changed and he kicked me out just after Christmas because he wanted to investigate his feelings for this girl he had met. I told him she was bad news. A walking violation of his probation. They started hanging out with old crowd.. It just got worse.

I continued to live with him at his request because I lost my job and I was still his friend. His girlfriend got assault charges on her again and went to jail. She got out March 11th and comes to house. He and I proceeded to argue and pushed me taking my phone and removing the battery. He is now in jail. Assault Charges..

I now get a letter and he says he is sorry for allowing her and the meth to come between us. He loves me and wants his family back. He lost faith in me getting a divorce (which is final at the end of May).. He caps me yesterday and tells me he has a no contact order on her and I win. She is out of his life... Our life. He wants to work on us...

But in the same sentence he wants her on his sober buddy list. And his failed drug test was a fact of a one time oops but she wasn't available to talk to.. . She no more a sober buddy than a saint with horns filling his meth pipe.

I tried it on several occasions to be part if his life but not what I want in my life. I realize now he just wants a get out of jail free card since I holding his life in my hand. We go to court Monday 7th..

I have never felt so alone and scared. I'm not only a fool to believe he loved me but he wants me to lie for him to keep him from going to prison. I know all to well he will find away around the order if he gets out. His friends are being raided and busted and I am getting the full blame. He doesn't want me or his family... He wants out of jail.

I haven't slept well in two days since his phone call. I have appointment to visit him tomorrow to tell him in person I not his puppet and not going to lie to court for her or him. He also has to face charges of association with her (she on record felon and misdemeanor charges).. Drug test failures and other probation violations. Either
way he not getting out anytime soon.

I want to help him. He hoping to go back to rehab... Thinks he going to sweet talk the judge into believing it a one time bad weekend use.. I trust the judge knows he lying.. I lost.. And am torn apart in how to help.. Should I help.. And is it worth it..

Do you have pamphlets you can send me? I need to find my strength to deal with this.. I thought I could do this alone.. Know now I can't..

Comments for My boyfriend is addicted to meth?

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You need support to make the correct decision.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Rhonda,

Wow you're really in a very difficult position. It's hard to know exactly what advice to give you because the situation you've described is very complex.

I am a counselor and spend most of my time with women. Many women come to me as they are getting divorced and it is a time of great turmoil and distress. Often, they have trouble making good choices because of the emotional issues caused by the break up of their marriage.

I would recommend you seek support quickly to help you to work though the current situation you're in. Meth dealers and their friends are almost always a nasty group that you need to stay as far away from as you can.

When you say you are being blamed because your boyfriend's friends are being busted, I'm concerned for your safety.

I recommend you try to find a counselor that you can work with to help you to clear your mind and make the best decisions for you.

I also recommend you start attending Al-anon meetings today. Find some good meetings in your area, begin working the 12 steps, and find a female sponsor who has been where you are and can help you navigate through a very tangled situation. Go to at least three Al-anon meetings a week so that you can begin to get the support you need right now!

Good Luck, and if you have any other questions please feel free to ask:)


Believe or not...
by: Anonymous

Thank you Debbie... I saw him in jail today and he wants to walk away from his friends and the drugs. Move away from area and start new together. He plans on fighting for his family and still wants to get married when my divorce is finally over.

I've never seen him cry... He doesn't cry...

Meetings are held only once a week in area. I thank you for your advice and I will go. Court is Monday... Going to be a tough day...

He wants us both to go to meetings, something we should have done a long time ago. Trouble is believing him and believing in him.. As he so believes in us...

Trust is rebuilt one day at a time
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Rhonda,

Great news that you're moving away from his bad friends and even better news that you're both going to go to meetings. You can go to Al-anon and he can go to AA. You can both go to Open AA meetings together.

You need to be VERY careful during this period and not be taken in by wishful thinking. Right now you have very little reason to trust him at all with anything. If you do move and do start both going to meetings as often as possible (for him daily would be best) then you can SLOWLY start to trust him.

If on the other hand, he doesn't do what he says, you need to work with your Al-anon sponsor and decide the best course of action for YOU. You need to protect yourself from being hurt any further.

Only trust once you can VERIFY that what he says he is going to do he actually does. Also, he MUST go to meetings!


I lost my best friend... either way we look at it
by: Rhonda

Debbie, He can say what I want to hear but deep inside the red flag is flying high. He lied about have a no contact order between him and her. The PA could press more charges for him contacting me... Tampering with a witness.

He can plead guilty on the Domestic Charges and have timed served PA will be happy and consider it done and over. However... He still has charges of association and failing the drug test... He won't get rehab.. He has to go to prison. I lose him either way.

She also going to write and submit to court Monday that I am not at any fault with the case or charges. I did drop the preliminary case but it's the State that is pushing issue not me.

Hoping he knows I didn't put him in prison... He did it to himself. If it's meant to be then we will get thru this... If not then I need to say goodbye and be done with it... Move on without him... This sucks.

Work Through It
by: Anonymous

Dear Rhonda you just need to do your best and work through it. F.Y.I I'm only thirteen.

Collateral Damage!
by: Andre


I came across your post, My boyfriend is addicted to meth (

Having a relationship with an addict really needs a great understanding and forgiveness, because of the fault they can eventually make. Many people are now facing this kind of situation, in different type of relationships. As a person
who is closest to them, we can just do what we can, the right thing we think we can do, even if it means that we need to hurt them, to make them realize the value of living in the right direction.

Given your post, I wanted to send your way Collateral Damage, a study on how
drug addiction affects family and friends. Where we analyzed the top addiction-related forums to find out how friends and family members were
seeking support. It also shows the most frequent post phrases by relationship.

Given your coverage on drug addiction, I hope this study can serve as an additional resource for your article. Please do get back to us should you consider covering our study. We will definitely appreciate any feedback you might have.


that's methed up!
by: Marcy

Far be it for me to be the naysayer here. Especially given the fact that I myself suffer from addiction. It seems though, that your estranged husband isn't quite there yet.

I would know! I threw away everything I loved for meth. My husband, kids, home, and life in general. I went to prison. I vowed that if I were to get back my life i would do better than before. It took three years and a lot of jail time, but I did it, and in a sense I did better.

But that damned old monkey steady clung to my back. And I lost it all again. This is the very thing I've seen happen in most, almost all cases of narcotic dependency. Mainly due to the fact that recovery is never sought until the common addict has landed themselves in a rather sticky bind- i.e., jail, hospital, or near death.

This is when one must devote their entire existence to truly working their program. This means changing every aspect of life as they ever knew it. Recovery, like addiction, is a selfish thing. No one can do it for anyone but their self. And the fact that he wants to be buddies with the woman he has a no contact order on speaks volumes about his readiness to change. Or lack thereof.

And might I add, if you are even considering being a witness to that calamity you are in just as bad of shape as he is. You must have more self-respect. You weren't the one living life as a hoodlum so why are you willing to live that life?

If he didn't provide for you the life you deserve why let him ruin what happiness you could have? Do yourself a favor. Let that habit go.

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