Denial a Huge Problem
Addiction Intervention: If you are a friend or a family member of someone who is either abusing drugs or already addicted, you’re probably wondering what you can do to help. The biggest problem you face is that the abuser or addict thinks this is YOUR problem, or you’re making a fuss over nothing. “I can handle it.” The last one in the room to know there is a problem is the one who has it.
There is help for a addiction intervention
You’ve seen what’s going on and you are thinking of ways to stop the behavior. Maybe you’ve decided to do Addiction intervention that person you care about and “get real” with him or her. Your motives are pure, but you are probably not equipped to help. You probably need the assistance of an interventionist, someone who is trained in drug and alcohol issues.
You are not going to be left out of the room, as the interventionist will work with the family and friends to plan the best approach to the abuser or addict, based upon his/her history of use. The interventionist will plan according to the user’s drug of choice, make the proper analysis and map out a specific strategy based on the information gathered.
Each Addiction intervention can be different
Interventions will vary, depending on the user’s history. For example, if the person is already well into addiction, the interventionist must make that adjustment to the strategy. That’s where friends and family come in.
Moreover, the interventionist will understand the approaches to handling addicts with alcoholism, cocaine abuse, heroin addiction, or those who are abusing inhalants or methamphetamine.
Regardless of the drug, trained professional help is available for a Addiction intervention. They are the ones who can give an accurate and objective account of the user’s behavior. If someone has just moved from being an occasional user to a frequent user, that requires a different approach than the one for a person who is a long-time abuser. Friends and family are vital to this process.
Most people under estimate their problem
People who are caught in addiction do not realize the severity of their problem. The only thing that matters in their life is getting the drug, regardless of the consequences. Health problems are not considered. Legal problems are not considered.
The person who used to be rational and law-abiding has been swallowed by the drug. That’s why the Addiction intervention step is so vital.
There is no room for enabling, no room for being the good guy, because the life of the addict may be on the line unless something is done on their behalf. It is sad when family and friends no longer matter. It is even sadder when life does not matter.
Don’t be a hero. Get help from a trained professional. That person knows what questions to ask and what information is necessary to make a proper assessment and an effective strategy for battling the problem.
Addiction interventionist can really help!
Another important point to keep in mind is that an intervention, however brief, may make all the difference in the world to getting the addict back on track to restoring his/her health.
Even a short encounter with an addiction specialist can prove instrumental in helping someone along. Those short visits may lead to putting them into a rehab program, or at least getting in to see a physician.
Once in the throws of addiction, addicts will no longer be the person they used to be, and as a result, the intervention stages may be difficult for you to witness. Our affection for the person, our feelings get in the way and it is difficult for the family member or friend to remain objective.
The interventionist is key to putting the addict back on the right path to a healthy and successful life.
Common addiction question:
My husband is an alcoholic and in denial?
My husband (40 years old) of 16 years has been drinking for at least 20 years. He drinks alone and I had to separate from him 5 months ago.
His drinking has gradually gotten worse over the years, and I finally had to leave for the safety of my children and myself. We are going to a psychologist together who happens to be very familiar/experienced with addiction. I am not seeing any changes and I am not sure how to proceed.
I originally filed for a legal separation and then postponed it, believing that my husband had the needed wake up call, but then he returned to drinking and my separation attempt has turned into a vacation for him. My family is begging me to divorce him, but with God's guidance, love, and strength, I will follow whatever means necessary to help him.
I am afraid to place my children back into the family home at this point, but need financial support to remain separated. My husband is drinking so much that he has not been paying child support and I only work part time.
He says that if I file for support, that he will divorce me. He has a spiritual depth that seems like it is buried. He is extremely mean, cruel, and selfish-but I know that this is not him, although he claims that "drinking is who I am. It is me and I plan on drinking if I wish."
My parents have helped me and are disgusted with my indecision. I realize that I am codependent and this site has been the most promising information that I've seen. My husband does not make promises to me that he'll quit and he did quit at one time on his own will-but relapsed with his family.
I just need a game plan for myself to follow with God's help. Do we have a chance? Can my husband be saved? No DUIs and he functions at work, but his pattern is missing a day of work weekly and biweekly.
He has health problems such as hypertension and depression. He drinks, abuses those around him, then he gets sick, and then begins the next week. He mainly drinks beer alone-one after the other-I know that I am not supposed to count, but, he drinks about 12 to 15 per day and more on the weekends.
Last relapse was the ole "I've been good, now here is my reward. I don't need treatment or AA, I can do this on my own."
My husband is an alcoholic and in denial
by: Fairfield Don
It sure sounds like you truly love you husband, as you say you are willing to go to any length to help him.
However there is a limit as to how far anyone can go to to protect themselves and their family. If you are living in fear and feel like you are walking on egg shells, QUIT DOING IT!!!!!
There are organizations out there who will help you both financially and spiritually. I am telling you this from first hand experience. ME!!!!!!
I am a recovering alcoholic and put my wife and family through probably everything you have and are going through.
There is no human being or organization on earth that can help your husband except himself.
I lost my first wife, two houses, and many other things through my alcoholic addiction.
You have a life to live. Your children have a life to live. Are you going to let all that go just to let your husband keep pulling you down? I looked for help and got it. Yes, I am a born again Christian, but I looked for help through AA and God says I need maintenance, which is AA.
Yes, your husband is in denial, and whether you realize it or not, you may be enabling him to continue his crazy lifestyle, as he may be thinking he can get you and your family back any time he wants to. There comes a time when when we just "Have To Just Let Go" For you and your family, do it! He has to prove to you, not you to him. You've already done it. Turn your life over to God, and follow in his footsteps.
Your husband needs help. He needs rehab, and they will get him on the right track, and if he responds the right way, he will get into AA and follow the steps, get sober, and live a life of serenity, and maybe you can be a family again. Don't continue living in hell on earth.
By the way, my wife and family are happy only because I made the choice to seek help. May GOD bless you and keep you in His loving arms.
Can he be saved?
Inform him that a "normal person/non alcoholic" will have 1 or 2 beverages and feel that they have had enough already if not too much. Example, notice how you yourself do not "crave" alcohol? Rather you feel "averted" to it and especially under the circumstances? Ask him how will you do this (quit drinking) on your own if "on your own is all about 'craving' it"?
Actually, your relationship CAN be saved through AA. First, you have to be strong enough to say "It's over between us" and leave him - only for NOW! Second, after he has had his "spiritual awakening" through AA then have enough character to forgive him and let the past go. For ALL things have become NEW again. For it is through Darkness that the Light will prevail!
I'm ASSUMING that leaving him will force the issue of AA with him!
Denial Is A Killer
by: Ned Wicker
Denial is always a killer. He can stop any time he wants. Right. He can do it on his own. Right. His whole life is a lie and he's allowing it to unfold. You have no marriage under the present circumstances, as alcohol is more important than his relationship to his wife, his children and his family.
Is there hope?
As long as God is in charge, there is hope, but you and the rest of the family will have to force the issue. The separation is meaningless, but his drinking and bad behavior have to change.
He can have his beer, or he can have his family, but not both. The family needs to band together and insist that he go into treatment. Groups like AA and Al-Anon are good sources of support and guidance, so make the calls.
Call a local alcohol treatment center and get their take. The hope is in the power of the family pulling together and insisting he get treatment.
Dear wife of a committed alcoholic
If you were may daughter I would be saying the same thing your parents are saying.
Move forward with the separation. Tell him you will file for a divorce if he does not stop all alcohol and drug use. If not now then when?
It's not just a marriage issue, this guy is also a father. Apparently his relationship with his drug is much more important than the one with his family.
Your post says this has been a problem for TWENTY YEARS. Maybe you should reread your post. God is also concerned about your children. If your husband chooses to drink himself to death the 'gates of hell' won't be able to stop him.
His addiction is his addiction.